I can no longer write here.
I did something I should have not done, and even though it was done in pain, I did it and I can’t undo it.
I can no longer write in here because I know that Patrick reads/ read it. It is not a place where I can come in peace and give over to my thoughts. I hate that I can’t just write here.
I understand it is a public forum, a public site but I can never write here and feel like I don’t have a responsibility to control what I write for the sake of those who I have loved.
If you ever read this, I hope you understand. I hope one day you can forgive me and that I can forgive you. I’m sorry.
Someone on OK Cupid messaged me asking if I have any interest in “completing ” her poly relationship. WTH? I don’t even know what that means!
There is nothing about someone else said her profile or the rest of her message so…? I messaged her back and said that I feel that “polyamorus :married and dating” type of “poly” makes me cringe.
Wow. The response to my post about my break up has been overwhelming. I want to thank everyone who has said kind words to me. This has been incredibly hard. Feels like what I would call a divorce.
That being said, my moving to NYC has nothing to do with him. Honestly, it is just as likely that I would move to San Fransisco. It all has to do with a program I am applying to. There are so many things coming up for me, and it is very exciting.
So please, don’t share with me things that he has said, or things that he thinks or feels. My life and his are separate now.